ShowStoppers.Inc: A geek's account of the opera called software and the colorful characters inside it

If you thought IT is all about bleary eyed geeks sitting infront of a computer, throughout day and night (well almost), their eyes glued to the monitor like a child watching a cartoon programme, then probably you couldn't have been more wrong. Amidst this dull coverings of an IT office, somewhere in a corner, or at times a chamber, is hiding probably the most colorful character you have seen in your whole life.They are spread accross the office, cutting through the hierarchy, and color (from greyish to pitch dark, depending upon your experience with him). Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present you characters who keeps IT as entertaining as anything else: Meet His Highness the PM, the lead, the sales guy, the onsite coordinator, the dev and Mr test. Forgive me for giving it in that order but me too like everyone else in IT, like to be politically correct.

We start with director who runs the show: the PM. The guy entrusted upon to execute the project smoothly, which makes this the biggest responsibility of the project. Quite ironically, he is the only guy do not need to have any knowledge about the actual work that happens in his project. The dev need to know the language in which the programme is being written, the tester needs to know the working and know how of the programme but the manager doesn't need any. The maximum knowledge that is needed is the name of the technology the work is happening, the number of people working and client's name and contact and That's it. So here we go: To be a manager in the IT industry, the supposedly knowledge industry, you don't need any knowledge.

On an average day in an IT office, you will find the manager staring at the monitor which has an umpteen number of emails and excel sheets open, or goading and pushing and at times blasting a subordinate. I assure you, in both of the occasions you will not be able to make any sense about what's going on. Because not what's going on is important, it is that the manager is in action mode that is important.


So what makes one eligible to be a manager? Well, let me ask u a question: How can a person who hardly have any knowledge of political theory become a politician. Bingo. It is your ability upto how much you can lie and deliver flowery speeches that determines how far you will go for being a manager. It includes saying endorsing his project vehemently when actually the project is a dead end, promising you rewards if you work in his project and then later denying it for anything, just as a politician would do when in IT.

There is this funny thing about managers in the IT industry. They are so concerned about managing that managing the work gets bigger than the work itself. End result? Managing the manager becomes another big task for the employee. There are an umpteen number of status sheets to be filled so that the manager can 'keep track' of the work. How does he keep track? He will analyse the excel sheet the maximum possible ways and more weirdest the better; just like an cricket statistician. (This is the highest run scored by an indian batsman, against a pakistani bowler, on this pitch in this tournament!!!). And after his dilligent analysis, he will enlighten you with the following findings:

1. You are not putting enough effort.
2. You are not coming up with ideas.
3. You are not taking resposibility

In short, work like a dog. As dog as u can get. A good dog is the one who has trudged through the work to put his 'I m the best dog'image and rest all are under performers. You understand what i say? The manager has discovered that there is a further room for some more push. Toil dog toil. See, there are so many carrots, you just finish the work. But in the end, there is no carrot because you didnt finish the work satisfactorily. Better luck next time dog.

And ofcourse there is time management. If something is to be done in one month, the manager will ask you to do it in one week. 3 weeks is the risk mitigation+lead time+save my ass time. So you rush through your work, and finish it in a jiffy in order to meet the 'deadline'. In the process, you just happen to overlook some detail and voila, you are not doing your due dilligence. "By the way, what was the detail?" - never mind if your manager asks this. They are too busy to look into your petty details.

There is another dimension to time management. It's about no approving your leave. "You see there so much amount of work... this is a very crutial time... there is no replacement of you...If you keep taking such leaves God forbid... blah blah blah.." He will tell you all the crap to refuse your leave application. It is as if they are giving their share of leave to you. I must say, even the defense people don't have to beg their commanders for leave as much as you will have to fight with your manager. Depriving you of what you deserve is a norm in these recession times, be it your leave, your variable pay, your expense reimbursements or your appraisal. You are simply refused.

And I would say, this is just the tip of the iceberg. To get into the depth of this character there is no other way than to watch the opera itself. Along with the director, there are other actors that add to the spice of IT. Watch out for the later posts.